下载此音频：爱是最重要的事
几年前，我与两个秘书劳拉和安妮共事，我们共同发现了人际关系中的一个重要功课。劳拉和安妮工作都很卖力，在各自领域都是难得的人才。工作上，他们俩都做得很好，勤勉，有效率，会办事。可彼此间却经常发生摩擦。
敏感的安妮觉得很受伤害，因为劳拉总是大大咧咧。而劳拉认为那都是因为安妮太敏感。安妮确实敏感，需要改进。可当我和劳拉谈起这个问题的时候，我们发现，这也为劳拉提供了一个很好的个人成长机会。劳拉工作很出色，善于案头工作，可她愿意学习改善自己与别人之间的关系吗？上帝为什么一开始安排她跟安妮共事？他会不会是在劳拉的生命中做工，帮她学会跟别人更好地相处呢？
我们与别人的关系都有改善的余地，《圣经》在这方面也有不少忠告－－如何与他人共事，如何对待他人，怎样对他人有爱心等。它谈论耐心，容忍，爱，无私和给予。在所有这些事情中，上主谈论的都是人际关系，而不是我们的工作或我们与事物之间的关系－－比如与文件、电脑或机器之间的关系。他谈得是人。你也许很会用电脑，可如果没学会怎样与别人友爱相处，你在灵性上就得不到太达成长，而这并不总是很容易做到！它需要耐心，爱心和谦卑。
如果我们想在灵性上成长和成熟，我们的爱心就要成长，而不只是勤勉工作。《圣经》没有教导我们勤勉做重要，而是说爱做重要！“其中最大的是爱”（哥林多前书13：13）。
你的工作可能很出色，也取得了不少成绩，但假如你还没学会怎样与别人合作，用爱对待他们，你就错失了在世上要学的主要功课！我们需要学会爱他人，而要学会爱他人，我们就要意识到人各有异，所以我们不能用同一种方式来对待所有的人。上主希望我们依照人们的不同需求，加以区别对待。耶稣非常顾及人与生俱来的弱点，他不会对每个人有相同的要求。使徒保罗也教导说：“辅助软弱的人，也要向众人忍耐”（帖撒罗尼迦前书5：14）。
在我们的人际关系中，哪种因素最重要？耶稣说，什么可以证明我们是他的门徒？－－爱！“你们若有彼此相爱的心，众人因此就认得出你们是我的门徒了”（约翰福音13：35）。对一直与你在一起生活和工作的人你都不爱，又怎能说你爱那些你不认识的人呢（约翰一书4：20）？很明显，作为基督徒，我们若不彼此相爱，就真是错了。
劳拉是个杰出的员工，但哪怕她工作完美，一天工作18小时都不出错，如果她对同事的态度不友爱，她仍无法讨上帝的喜悦。
劳拉和安妮之间明显有问题，解决这些问题也是她们的工作。这不容易，因为学会和别人合作是最困难的事。学会与机器合作远比这容易，因为机器不会顶嘴！与他人和睦相处，充满爱心地对待他们，并使他们也爱你要难多了。但是劳拉学会了，我们也能学会！
“我岂是看守我兄弟的吗？”（创世纪4：9）答案很明显，我们当然是自己兄弟的看守人，并且我们还需要记住，有些人比他人需要更多亲切温柔的“看守”。要想有成功的人际关系，你就需要认识到，人是不一样的，需要不同对待。
上主把某些人放在了我们的生活中：亲戚，同事，上司，客户或邻居－－无论你喜欢他们与否，他已经把你和他们放在了一起，你就有义务去爱他们。如果你不能与他们融洽相处，显然，是因为上主知道你需要去学习，否则，他就不会把你们放在一起了。一定有这种可能，要不他不会让你置身与那种环境中。
如果没有挑战，我们就不会去学习或得到成长。所以，要把学会与人相处看成是生活中的新挑战。怎样才能促进我们与别人的关系呢？其中一部分答案，是促进我们与上主之间的关系。如果我们在上主里成长，我们就会对他人更有爱心，这就是问题的关键。人活着的全部意义，也就在此：去爱上帝和爱他人。这才是最重要的事！如果你爱上帝，你就会爱别人，因为爱别人是你爱上帝的一个方面。
你可以熟读《圣经》，但如果不借着爱心把它实践出来，就不会有任何益处。你可以做各种牺牲，但若没有爱，它们就什么也不是。你可以拥有圣灵的其它所有恩赐，但若没有爱的恩赐，也全无意义（哥林多前书13：1-3）。你可以在你的领域里出类拔萃，但若不向别人显示出上帝的爱，那也不过是徒然。没有爱，你就一无所有！爱是最重要的事！
Love Is the Most Important Thing
Some years ago when I worked with two secretaries, Laura and Anne, we discovered together an important lesson in human relationships. Both Laura and Anne were hard workers—really tops in their field, very good at what they did. When it came to their work, they were diligent and efficient and got the job done. But there was often friction in the office.
Sensitive Anne was hurt because of Laura’s rather snappy attitude. Laura thought it was all Anne’s fault for being too sensitive. Laura was partially right; Anne was sensitive and needed to improve in that area. But when I talked with Laura about the problem, we realized that it presented her with a wonderful opportunity for personal growth. Laura was good at her work, she was good on paper, but was she willing to learn to improve her relationships with people? Why had God put her in the position of working with Anne in the first place? Might He be working in Laura’s life to help her learn to get along with others better?
We could all stand to improve in our relations with others, and the Bible has lots of counsel for us on that subject—how to work with others, how to treat them, how to be loving toward them, and so on. It talks about patience, longsuffering, love, unselfishness, and giving. In all the passages about these things, the Lord is talking about relationships between human beings, not about our work or the relationships we have with things—our papers or computers or machines. He’s talking about people. You may work great with your computer, but you’re not going to grow much spiritually unless you learn to have loving interaction with other people—and that’s not always easy. It takes patience, love, and humility.
If we’re going to grow and mature in spirit, then we’ve got to grow in love, not just in diligence in our work. The Bible doesn’t teach us that diligence is the most important thing; it teaches us that love is the most important thing. “The greatest of these is love.”2 (1 Corinthians 13:13)
You may do your work well and accomplish a lot, but if you haven’t learned how to work with others and treat them with love, then you’re missing one of the main lessons we’re here on earth to learn! We need to learn to love people and to do that we need to also learn that people are different and that we can’t treat them all the same. The Lord wants us to treat people differently according to their needs. Jesus was very mindful of people’s human weaknesses and didn’t require the same from everyone. The apostle Paul also instructed, “Uphold the weak, be patient with all. (1 Thessalonians 5:14)
What is the most important ingredient in our relations with each other? What did Jesus say proves we are His disciples? Love! “By this all will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another.” (John 13:35). How can you love God whom you can’t see, if you can’t love the people you live and work with all the time? How can you say you love people whom you haven’t seen if you don’t love your brother or sister who you see every day? (1John 4:20) It’s clear that as Christians we are really erring if we don’t love each other.
Laura was an excellent worker, but even if she were perfect, even if she spent 18 hours a day on the job without making one mistake, she’d still not be pleasing God if she did not show a loving attitude toward the people she worked with.
In our office there was obviously a problem between Laura and Anne, and resolving it was part of their job. It wasn’t easy, because one of the hardest things to learn is how to work with other people. That’s a lot harder to learn than how to operate a machine that doesn’t talk back! It’s a lot harder to get along with people and handle them lovingly and get them to love you – but Laura learned and we can too!
“Am I my brother’s keeper?”(Genesis 4:9) Well, the answer is obvious. Of course we are our brother’s keeper, and we need to remember that some people need to be “kept” even more lovingly and tenderly than others. To be successful with people, you have to learn that people are different and need to be treated differently.
The Lord put certain people in your life, whether you like it or not. Whether you like to be with these people or not, He has placed you with them, and it’s your responsibility to love them. If you can’t get along with them, He evidently knew you needed to learn to or He wouldn’t have put you together. It must be possible or He wouldn’t have put you in that situation.
We don’t grow or learn unless we have a challenge, so look at this as a new challenge in life.“What can I do to grow in my relationships with other people?” Part of the answer to that is growing in our relationship with the Lord. If we’re growing in the Lord, then we’ll be more loving toward other people — and that’s what it’s all about. That’s the whole purpose for living, to love God and others.
That’s the most important thing! And if you love God, you will love others too, because loving others is one way you show love to the Lord.
You can read the Bible all you want, but if you don’t live it in love it doesn’t do any good. You can make all kinds of other sacrifices, but without love it is nothing. You can have all the other gifts of the Spirit, but without love it is meaningless. (1 Corinthians 13:1-3). You can be the tops in your field, but if you don’t manifest God’s love to others, then it’s all in vain. If you don’t have love, you don’t have anything! Love is the most important thing!